I'm back

I have heard it is uncouth to wait so long between blogs, SORRY!! Since my last blog I have been having Chemo every week. I would have Chemo on Wednesday, sleep Thursday& Friday, be on anti nausea medicine every 6hrs for 3 or 4 days, the weekends were iffy as to how I was managing. We had hoped that by having Chemo every week it would eliminate the overly sick response I was having. It lessened the response, but it meant I was sick every week. After 6 wks of this I decided I would like to go back to the once every three weeks. I know the response will be more severe, but I would get at least 1 to 1 1/2 weeks break. I had to notify the insurance, because they have to approve any change in dosage. They like 5-7 business day to decide. So Wednesday, March 5th, I went in trepidation to get my full dose of Chemo only to find out that my white blood cell count was too low to have a full dose treatment. It had been low on the weekly doses, but still OK for smaller doses. In preparation of the full dose the Dr. only gave me a 1/6th dose to try and give my white blood cells a rest (it didn't work). Dr. Campbell explained that if he were to give me a full dosage of Chemo at this low count it would be life threatening.

I cried! I had these mental dates (bench marks) that I was emotionally striving towards. After a few minutes, I was embarrassed..... I thought of the people I personally know who are suffering much worse than I. So the Lord wants to change "my plans", "my agenda" what am I to do? God designed me to be a planner. SO....I planned things out; meals, other appointments, child care, up coming surgeries, and etc... all "my plans" are off now. I am reminded my ways are not the Lord's ways. His timing is always for the best. Even though I am not privy to the big picture I trust in the designer. I am humbled (as usual) by how quickly I lost sight (and cried). Really what is a week or two in the big scheme of things.

He feeds my spirit!!! "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones." Ps. 17:22 "the spirit of a man can endure his sickness, but a broken spirit who can bear?" Ps. 18:14 Thank you all for uplifting my spirit with your loving words of encouragement. I appreciate it more than you know.