Have you ever felt like you make absolutely no difference in this life?? I struggle with this. Scripture tells us that we are all part of a body and each gift/talent is useful to the body. When that part is not functioning the whole body suffers. Lately I want to scream...."I want my life to count, to bring God glory" Alas, I am only me and feel I have some obscure unimportant function so remote that I cannot even figure it out. I know I am not alone in this struggle between who we are (or going through) and who we want to be. Even TobyMac sings about it, "I was made to love you", Superchick "Stand in the rain", Natasha Bedingfield " Unwritten", (and my new favorite) Point of Grace "How you live" just to name a few. Those who know me well know I am someone who would love for the Lord to send me the outline of what the plan is, and of course I would follow the "Plan". Alas He never does this. He wants me to lean on Him by candle light not the flashlight. I guess this causes me to grow and be more like Him without questioning and knowing the whole "plan". I am unable to see the whole picture and He can, I am unable to see the out come but He can. I wonder what all this emotional confusion looks like to God?? I know I can trust Him, I choose to praise Him even though for the moment it hurts. Really the bottom line is as much as I want a life that brings Glory to the Lord (my vision of what that looks like) it is all about Him and through Him, not me :( .
Matthew West recently went through what I am talking about...Check it out
http://www.matthewwest.com/splash/
On a side note the doctor wants me to try doing Chemo every week. The goal is to lesson the reaction. So I start this on Wednesday the 23rd.
"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.
He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him." Ps 126:5, 6
He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him." Ps 126:5, 6
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5 comments:
there's so much we don't know or understand...
An outline... That would be wonderful...
But your comment about candle light is really good. You are never going to see everything clearly. There will always be those flickering shadows.
Love you guys!
Christopher
Testing of Your Faith:
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness."James 1:2-3
I'm sending you hugs my dear sister. I know you are part of our functioning body, I would not feel complete with you out of the picture, and you are still an important part.
Really enjoyed Matthew West's music, thanks, great words hugh!
Love ya dear friend,
Heafur (not hefur..ie cow/because 2 vowels that go walking the first one does the talking, just wanted to clear my nickname up! :)
Yvette,
K-LOVE is having that Matthew West
contest, to have him write your love story in a song. You should check it out and enter. He is such a good song writer. I do not know why I am telling you this, but you should write down your love story and enter it at K-LOVE.
I so agree with you about the plan thing. The Lord was showing me this past week through my 3 year old. We were going for a walk and that kid
would not hold my hand for anything. He knows he HAS TO. Nope, he threw fits and screamed. I asked him to nicely and all I got was attitude & running away. The Lord said "That is you, you just will not put your hand in mine, I am holding it out, but you keep throwing fits. I want to walk WITH you and guide you, but you keep running off." Talk about conviction. Thank you Lord, that you love us sooo much.
Love you girl, I'm praying for you & yours, Moorea
I've said it sO ManY times, but never ENOUGH! I LOVE YOU MOM, and thank God every day for the blessings of You in MY life. You are such a resilient amazing being- and I wish you could see yourself if just for a moment through my eyes. My heart.. I know God Loves you- though I beg to differ with his way of going about things- your faith during this biggest trial of all of our lives- has convinced me and convicted me to trust him with every ounce of my soul. However, your strength and example of faith in a 'plan' that is known only by 'HIM'. This example is once again where I find the most comfort right now. WE love you and I pray for YOu, Dad and the kids daily.
From a far-away Land,
your daughter
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