In the Mean Time

Monday my white blood count was going up (1.2 =1,200 ... I was 1.0). So we scheduled for Wednesday.... again the white blood count is too low. Actually it has dropped lower than it ever has...now at .9. So we will try for Monday ???

In the meantime I wanted to share some things that have happened while I was going weekly:

*Aurora had her 12th Birthday. She requested that we watch home videos of her as a baby. I was really struck by how time flies. I thought when did I blink and she went from sweet vibrant baby to enthusiastic young adolescent. She had a lovely birthday party with a few close friends. God was so gracious to me on that weekend, do to some miracle I wasn't sick that weekend.

*Aurora had a swim meet in Carson City (Minden) and she nocked 6 seconds off Breast stroke time!!

*Our Coop group started up again. It is always a high point in our families lives. I personally feel honored to be associated with such intelligent, talented, loving and God fearing women.

*I was finally able to get an appointment at UCSF ( after calling for 3 wks) for an expansion. According to the Doctor I am fully expanded and now I just am waiting to be done with Chemo and then have my Switch out surgery. That is where they take out the expander and put in the implant (either saline or silicone). You also choose at this point if you want a nipple or not (keep in mind it will be static). Then about 3 wks after this surgery (when you are healed) if you have chosen a nipple they will now tattoo an areola on.

I'm back

I have heard it is uncouth to wait so long between blogs, SORRY!! Since my last blog I have been having Chemo every week. I would have Chemo on Wednesday, sleep Thursday& Friday, be on anti nausea medicine every 6hrs for 3 or 4 days, the weekends were iffy as to how I was managing. We had hoped that by having Chemo every week it would eliminate the overly sick response I was having. It lessened the response, but it meant I was sick every week. After 6 wks of this I decided I would like to go back to the once every three weeks. I know the response will be more severe, but I would get at least 1 to 1 1/2 weeks break. I had to notify the insurance, because they have to approve any change in dosage. They like 5-7 business day to decide. So Wednesday, March 5th, I went in trepidation to get my full dose of Chemo only to find out that my white blood cell count was too low to have a full dose treatment. It had been low on the weekly doses, but still OK for smaller doses. In preparation of the full dose the Dr. only gave me a 1/6th dose to try and give my white blood cells a rest (it didn't work). Dr. Campbell explained that if he were to give me a full dosage of Chemo at this low count it would be life threatening.

I cried! I had these mental dates (bench marks) that I was emotionally striving towards. After a few minutes, I was embarrassed..... I thought of the people I personally know who are suffering much worse than I. So the Lord wants to change "my plans", "my agenda" what am I to do? God designed me to be a planner. SO....I planned things out; meals, other appointments, child care, up coming surgeries, and etc... all "my plans" are off now. I am reminded my ways are not the Lord's ways. His timing is always for the best. Even though I am not privy to the big picture I trust in the designer. I am humbled (as usual) by how quickly I lost sight (and cried). Really what is a week or two in the big scheme of things.

He feeds my spirit!!! "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones." Ps. 17:22 "the spirit of a man can endure his sickness, but a broken spirit who can bear?" Ps. 18:14 Thank you all for uplifting my spirit with your loving words of encouragement. I appreciate it more than you know.