This is not an easy road. I have lost some things (not just breasts) and they require some grieving. I have these nagging emotions of loss and of sadness over things yet to come. At the same time I struggle with guilt that I even have these emotions considering how truly blessed I am. I know of so many who are worse off or who don't have the amazing support I have. I fear I am rambling. (maybe it's all hormones)
God did create us with emotions and therefore knows the struggle of them. He Himself wept over the loss of a dear friend. I know that the Lord will use this to help me grow into his likeness. Just like a vine dresser prunes the vines to make a larger crop. I have some pruning to be more fruitful in my walk. When it all comes down to it I know that I have my Lord. He has made His presence known all along the way and loves me with such gentleness as only He can. In that... My ultimate desire is to be used by the Lord in all of this for His glory.
for I am confident of this very thing. that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. Phil. 1:6
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This Thursday I go back to UCSF to see the Doctors. They will remove the drains and bandages. Possibly fill a little in the expander depending on how everything looks. God is so good...You know how hard it is to get 3 doctors schedules to coincide, especially when they don't even have the same clinic days. Miraculously the plastic surgeon had a procedure cancellation on that day so he will be there and available on the same day and time frame the other 2 doctors are. WOW!!
Please keep me in your prayers as I am slightly nervous about seeing the scars.
3 comments:
Hi Yvette! We're here at TLC reading your blog. We prayed for you this morning and are thinking of you. We're sorry you're not here!
Step by step. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Cheryl, Ramona, and Jenny
Dear Grace~ful Yvette,
Our prayers are with you for your travels to S.F. May every mile be one in which our LORD gently prepares you for the appt. His timing is perfect and as we had prayed for the doctors scheduals to be worked out to be together so too the nervousness you feel will be worked out and His perfect peace worked in. Praying you hear His soft whispers of love for you His daughter, princess to our King!!!! You are precious and loved!!!!
Yvette, I love you dear friend!
Praying with you,
Heather
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