Blogging Oct. 29th

I'm on the computer again! The recovery hasn't gone as quickly as I would like. I would like to be back to my old self again. I'm just whining! It has been really good that my mom was here to take care of us. She has been such a wonderful help. I didn't have to think about anything. Laundry, cleaning the house, food, dishes, kids and etc... She also was very attentive to all my needs. I don't know how I'm going to handle the house without her. But it will also help get me into the groove. I appreciate every one's encouragement (cards, emails, phone calls, food, flowers and even a banner) I'm am so spoiled.

I have been off the Vicadin for about 2 days now. The drains are not ready to come out but are showing signs of slowing. The pain is better, it is more of a tightness (mostly). There are definite movements I can not do. I am doing exercises to improve my mobility. I can raise my right arm to the top of my head (carefully) WOOHOO! the left arm is doing slightly better. Moving the arms across my body is more difficult. When I laughed for the first time, that was a bit surprising amount of pain. It isn't painful any more.

The kids are handling me with great care. They are getting school work done, their chores and tolerating each other with good spirits. I am very proud of them. Neal is holding together pretty well as long as he gets a good night sleep.

I am supposed to go to the Doctors' on Thursday. I'm going to email her and ask if it is possible to postpone the appointment till the drains are ready to come out. They may have some pathology results by then though so we shall see.

Neal's Oct. 24 comments

I'm just sitting here enjoying some "quiet" time with Yvette. There are tubes and dials everywhere. The nurses are all very nice. There is one male nurse that we had last night. His name is Miguel. Being the only male in the womens cancer area, I was wondering how he would do. He was very sensitive and attentive. We really liked him. All of the doctors and most of the nurses have been very attentive and answered questions without treating us as know-nothings.

Yvette's surgeon says she thinks Yvette can go home in the morning 10-25. She is still catheterized so that has to go. Also, she has to walk further than she has up until now.

Many of you have asked how am I doing. Honestly it various from encouraged to fearful depending on the news they give us. Discouraged that there was cancer in the lymphs but encouraged at the fast recovery Yvette is having. We hope for a more restful night than last night. I had to push to have her room changed. The original one was very noisy.

She can't wait to get home to her family and friends. Thanks to all of you who care so much and are making sacrifices in your own way. Your rewards are in heaven. Some are here on earth too.

Day of Surgery

Today was Surgery Day.....

(Note: Yvette's friends are posting updates until Yvette/Neal are home and able to have the strength to comment themselves. Thank you for your continued support of our dear friend!!)

Yvette went in around 10:30 a.m. followed with surgery at 1:00 p.m. While in surgery the doctor found more cancer than expected and that is what is taking longer.

Yvette's mom, Yvonne, did say that so far things have gone well (Praise God).

They expect Yvette to stay in the hospital in San Francisco another day (probably till Thursday), and they will be able to know more tomorrow.

Because of the extensive surgery done today, this will make her recovery a little longer and harder so please pray for her in that way.

Please leave comments, prayers & scriptures on this site as they are all very encouraging to Yvette and Family.

7th Birthday party

Cameron's 7th Birthday. Dinosaur was the theme. I made the cake. It was chocolate cake with Berry Rainbow Sherbet on top, all covered with frosting. It's supposed to look like a volcano with a river, land and dinosaurs. The picture isn't as clear as I had hoped.


Really it all started the night before at our co-op Lego Extravaganza. Cameron ended up winning 1st in his age group and also The Peoples Choice award. His entry was a mining theme with cotton as water or dust effects. We are very proud of his work.

He had a great party full of fun; Pinata, games, cake and presents. I can't believe my little boy is 7 now. He has grown so much this past year not just physically but mostly in his character.

UCSF Pre-op

Friday the 19th I needed to go to UCSF to meet with the pre-op nurse, the Anesthesiologist, and do some lab work. Neal was not able to go with me on such short notice. I was blessed by friends, one to go with me and one to watch my children and clean my house. These blessings knocked my socks off. They can never know how much this relieved the anxiety within me. Thank You.

At UCSF I was able to touch an expander as an example of one that would be inside of me and an example of an implant. This would help alleviate wondering what certain sensations might be. I was shown the drain that would be attached to me for about 2 wks. I will have 2, one on each side. You have to pin them to your clothing or use a kind of lanyard to hold them when bathing. You have to measure out the amount of secretion 2x a day. ...Sorry!...as my daughter would say "T.M.I." (too much information)

Then I went to the hospital side and had about 4-5 viles of blood taken, an EKG, and chest ex ray's. After that I meet with the Anesthesiologist. He explained what would take place and talked about my medical history. He also answered any questions I had.

I'm scheduled to go in on Tuesday at 10:30am to have the radioactive die injected into the tumor so that during surgery they can follow the die to the node that the tumor feeds into. Then the surgery is at 1pm. It is about 5-6 hr long surgery. Then a couple hours to come out of the anesthesia. I get to stay overnight. So I will be heading home on Wednesday.


Specific prayers are:
That the cancer has not spread.
Clarity for the doctors
No allergic reactions to any of the medicines and/or foreign objects in my body
protection on my family
And of course mostly how the Lord lead you.

'Praise You in this Storm'

This is a song by Casting Crowns

Praise You in this Storm:
I was sure by now / That You would have reached down / And wiped our tears away / Stepped in and saved the day / But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls / I barely hear You whisper through the rain / "I'm with you" / And as Your mercy fall / I raise my hands and praise the God who gives / And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm / And I will lift my hands / For You are who You are / No matter where I am / Every tear I've cried / You hold in Your hand / You never left my side / And though my heart is torn / I will praise You in this storm

I remember when / I stumbled in the wind / You heard my cry / You raised me up again / My strength is almost gone / How can I carry on / If I can't find You

I lift my eyes unto the hills / Where does my help come from? / My help comes from the Lord / The Maker of Heaven and Earth.

That is taken from these scriptures; Rom. 8:28, 2 Cor. 4:16-18, Ps. 42:5, Ps. 121:1-2, Job 1:20-21, Daniel 3:16-18

Here is the YouTube site to listen: www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHdcyue0bSw

While you are on that site watch the 'Who AM I' video by Casting Crowns too. It's awesome!!
(they're white gloves)

Sugery is a Go

These are the Wednesdays we all look forward to. It is co-op day. I really felt the concern and subsequent prayers of so many. It was a wonderful presence to be in.

When we arrived home there was a message from the Dr's staff to confirm the 23rd at 2pm. I called her back schedule the rest of the process. So now I have to be in San Francisco on Fri. at 12:30 - 3:30 to do pre-op with the nurse and then do pre-registration at the hospital.

Thank you Lord!!!

I must admit...the surgery is real, now.

I'm also saddened that I won't have Friday with my son to prepare for his birthday and to do the Lego Extravaganza with him. I don't want to take away from his day or time in any way if possible. I am thankful for the confirmation and progress of surgery. I'm just coming face to face with my own limitations and it is hard to let go of some of my own expectations (of me). or maybe, I just don't want to let go of the picture in my head that I want for him.

Thank you for you prayers and please continue.

frustrated

Tuesday Oct. 16th. I woke up feeling like all my planning was for what?? I was frustrated. Now on top of all the learning and emotion of all this now you also have to be your own advocate against the doctors office staff run around and I hear also the insurance. It can be quite exhausting and overwhelming.

At the advice of a friend I composed an email to the surgeon about our cooperation, her staff's mishaps over time, and closed with a note of urgency and confidence in their abilities. Then, I'm embarrassed to say that I didn't do this to begin with, I prayed.

I received a call from the Dr's staff late in the day, 4:20pm, to say they had spent the whole morning working out a way to make the 23rd date work. They think it might, but they will call me in the morning to confirm. Later I checked my email and their was a reply from the Dr. at 3:48pm stating they had my surgery scheduled for the 23rd at 1pm, and to please let her know if her staff had not called to confirm by tomorrow. Confusing!!!

I grieve over the lost time and energy having to deal with this. But this too is part of the process. I had to let go of MY plans... and say OK it is now up to you Lord if this is your timing it will come together.

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Ps. 27:14

Unsettling

Monday... the infamous meeting with the Plastic Surgeon. We were a little tight on time due to traffic getting there, but we made it with 15 min to spare. Yea Neal!! We fill out our paperwork and pay our 2 co-pays to see the surgeon and plastic surgeon. We are ushered in to our room to wait for whichever doctor is available first to come in and see us. About 30 min or so the Plastic surgeon, Dr Foster, comes in and we had an informative discussion about sizes, procedures, complications and etc...
He leaves and we wait for Dr Hwang. About 20 min or so later some helper comes in and states that Dr Hwang is not in the office today. She is at a conference out of town. We ask to speak to her assistant. To make a long story short. She had called us at our home # to inform us of this but only an hour before our scheduled time (it takes us 3 hours to get there). She did have our cell #. She apparently did not have us scheduled for surgery on the 23rd (or any other date for that matter). She asked us if the 6th of Nov. would be OK. We were frustrated and confused. We explained our previous conversation and our dilemma with the changing the scheduled time. She said she would see what she could do. They would call us tomorrow to let us know.
Needless to say the car ride home was quiet. We hit traffic so decided that maybe dinner would help cheer things up while also waiting out the bumper to bumper traffic. We stopped off at a well known restaurant. The waiter had the personality of a wet paper towel. He didn't speak (occasionally mumbled or nothing). My food was over cooked and Neal's fish was cold. This was not what we needed. Not a very settling evening.

Swim Meet

This is our favorite swimmer. We are so proud of her accomplishment this weekend. She bested a few of her times and overcame some fears to face this meet with her head held high. The meet was out of town and we were hosted by some dear friends for the overnight stay. It was great to visit and be pampered with great food and company. Our little man was so bored the entire meet but managed to keep himself somewhat entertained. He didn't complain till the very end. It's wonderful to see signs of maturing.



I'm beginning to feel the crunch of time. It's only a week away till my surgery. I'm very thankful for each of these weekends to be able to focus on each of the kids individually. Next weekend is Cam.'s B-day. I have been having lots of strange dreams about surgery and hospitals.

Please pray that the cancer has not moved into my lymph's, and every aspect of the surgery. I do feel the sustaining prayers of all of you. Thank you!!

Bishops

We had a great week. Tuesday we went to Bishops Pumpkin Farm in Wheatland with our co-op group. Train ride, corn maze, mountain slide, apple cider, hayride, pick your pumpkin from the vine, a chicken show with a pig race, snack booths, and lots of fun climbing areas. It is a tradition every year to bring in the fall.

1st decision

We have chosen to do a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction.
We meet with the Plastic surgeon at UCSF on Oct.15th (with a list of questions in hand)
If all goes as planned the Mastectomy will be on Oct. 23rd. at UCSF.

The Lord has had mercy on me again. Having it on the 23rd instead of sooner. I was able to arrange some things: set up this blog (with the help of friends), schedule my mom to fly out for the week of the surgery, rearrange school plans, have 24hrs alone with Neal, have Aurora's swim meet, and have Cameron's B-day. (just to name a few).

Thank you all for your support and constant care of our family through calls, emails, cards, hugs, prayers and the physical needs. Please keep us in your prayers. As we know our needs we will update the link I have posted on this blog. I hope this is easy for everyone.

Steep learning curve

Now it was time to meet with a surgeon, oncologist, radiation oncologist, MRI, and 2nd opinion surgeon. Read pathology reports as they trickled in, research all the western medical info and process that but also research alternative treatments and process that. Counsel with numerous people; those who have gone or are going through this, doctors, naturopathies, and people we trust. All this in just about 2 weeks.

The MRI reveals a possibility of 3 more tumors, Hormone receptors are positive, and then the positive HER-2 gene.

Lets play I-Spy again...
* In all this commotion, I called my sister (Michelle) to see if she could not only come up here but take 2 days off work with 2 days notice. She did!!! I needed her to accompany me to UCSF for a second opinion. Neal needed to guard his days for future appts. It was exactly what I needed and wanted. Marni poured out such care on my children they thought they were on vacation. Michelle was so helpful; reassuring me, informed questions at the appt., and emotional support. Not getting upset when we got lost, for an hour.
* It was God's mercy that allowed the info to trickle in every few days. So I could absorb it.
* In praying for clarity...He said "wait on the Lord and be patient" He did reveal to me a clear answer which in return brought peace.
* Neal and I prayed separately and felt the same answer.

I guess in the beginning I thought "this is not going to affect my life" (drastically). I would have a lumpectomy and some radiation. Then as the info crept in. This all began to seep out of my box I had put it in. Still sustained by prayers I started to face and absorb the truth. It still sometimes seems surreal (probably till surgery).

Here are some scriptures my God has encouraged me with:
Though a host encamp against me, My heart will not fear;
though war arise against me, In spite of this I shall be confident. Ps 27:3
the host and the war are my cancer.
In God, whose word I praise, In God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid. What can mere man do to me? Ps. 56:4

deliberate silence

We chose to hold the news of the diagnosis till we told the kids. The weekend of the Sept. 14th- 16th my Father was coming to visit and we didn't want the visit to have a dark cloud or have the focus change. Sunday after church we told the kids and then my Father.

Cameron told us he was going to tell his best friend. We said "You don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to." He said "My friend prayed for my cold and now I don't have it. See prayer works"

Aurora stated later it was as if I had slapped her. It took awhile for it to sink in (a few days), and then the questions began.

This will be hard for my father and many others to not be able to control or fix this. He's heart is to be very supportive.

We then told our extended family and Co-op leader. A mass email went out "Request for Prayer"

I felt the prayers were sustaining me because Neal hurt his back Sunday eve. and was unable to move. So Monday morn. we went onto Yuba docs. He had strained and tweaked some muscle out of place. (IN PAIN)

A game we play

We often don't see the hand of God because we are not looking for it. Therfore I-Spy-God is something discussed at our house to remind us.

I warn you it is always clearest in hind sight.

Here are some examples leading up to this journey:
* I felt the Lord's prompting to not teach a class at our co-op this semester. This was very hard for me to follow, but I did.
*I had a leading to prepare dinners in the freezer, thinking I was being organized for the new school year, not realizing we would need these for tougher times.
* The pain I mentioned in my earlier post
* I had a sense of what I was getting into before I went to the doctor.
* Neal meeting me at the general practitioners office.
* Neighbor to watch my children on 9/10 from 8am -2:30pm
* the scripture the Lord gave me the Sunday before (Eph. 3:16,20)

9/11 has new meaning!

On September 10th I went in for a mammogram because I had felt a lump in my right breast. This had been sore for some months now. They did a Mammo and magnified images, then I went into have an ultrasound done. The radiologist came in and did a more thorough exam with the ultrasound. This resulted in a recommendation to do a Core Biopsy, because things looked suspicious. He took 4 samples for the pathologist to have a more precise diagnosis and for further testing. We would get the results within 48-72 hours. My family practioner called within 24hrs on September 11th. I have Moderately Differentiating Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma, grade 2/3. In other words I have invasive breast cancer.

You are not suppose to have pain with cancer. So I attribute the fact that I did have pain to my God whom I know will walk with me every step of this journey. I believe we have caught this early.

I pray that from His Glorious, unlimited resources He will give Yvette mighty inner strength through His Holy Spirit...Now glory be to God. By His mighty power at work within us, He is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope. Eph. 3:16,20 NLT